I panic... it's my thing

I'm an organizer.  I like to organize group events; it's something I like to think I do well.  I've organized the farmers market for the past 3 years of 90 some vendors, a different 30 of which show up each week through the season.  I designed many of the staff processes in the kennel when we ran it.  And I've coordinated travel trips for groups as few as 4 and planned events abroad for over 80.

That doesn't mean it come easily.  Well, it does.  But I mean it also isn't without considerable personal investment (i.e. full on panic attacks as the event draws near.)  The funny thing is that I'm only now starting to recognize my reactions.  It would be great if I were also now starting to actively overcome my reactions - but I guess that is a step yet to come.

I've been toying with an idea for about a year now, to create a travel business.  They do always say make your passion your career and you will never tire of your work.  I'm not sure I'm interested in doing this full time - so whether I can make this a self-funded hobby is a major consideration of late. But this Friday we're about to go on a trial run - a trip I'm planning for my parents and us, pretending that they are paying clients.  I've budgeted all the lodging, transportation and meals, and my parents have paid me their share.  I'm actually pretty excited to see how adequate my budget ends up being.  (Luckily I have the luxury with these clients to settle up afterwards depending on how off I am!)

We're leaving for a river cruise on Friday.  It's now Monday.  I did not get a chance to pre-pack my suitcase this past weekend due to all the things...., which in itself is a lurking bit of anxiety right there.   But no - the fun part of this weekend arose when I was reviewing our accommodations and realized that I still don't have information on the hotel the first night of our cruise...  I can remember distinctly talking to the customer service about this and they assured me the hotel was included in the cruise package, and that those details would be provided to me shortly before departure.  Well... it's now less than a week and I haven't been notified.  So then I also remembered opting OUT of booking additional hotel nights at the time that I booked the cruise.  SO... is it possible the customer service person was blowing smoke and didn't even look at my reservation to see that I had decided to not book the hotel through them, and in fact the 4 of us have no hotel reservations at all for the night we arrive after an international flight?  In Amsterdam?  In the city that currently even Hotels.Com is advertising a minimum of $300 per night per room?    Awwww, crap - there goes my trip budget before even leaving!  This was all Saturday.  The cruise line customer service only works business hours.  Gah.

So I called again this morning - 5:55 am hoping that they were on East Coast Time.  No luck there, but just 5 minutes later I got a call back from Customer Service - she said she saw they had just missed my call, and the one on Saturday.  Nice!  Indeed - our hotel is arranged for.  Instead, there was a minor mishap over getting me the final documentation, and that is now on the way.   And, I confirmed that the average cab fare from the Airport to the Hotel is less than half of what the cruise line offers in terms of transportation, so that instinct to opt out of that service was also validated.  *whew*

So the panic attacks - they are just my way of mitigating risk.  Going over the known details and imagining all the things that could go wrong -- this gets my butt in gear to make sure that doesn't happen.  I just kind of wish I could skip the adrenaline rush and cold sweats.  :-)